An Asian Yak

The last talk that Thomas Merton gave, a few hours before his death, had a very mixed response. There is though a particular section in it that seems to link to reflecting on the process of becoming. First, Merton relates a recent conversation with the Dalai Lama, who, interested in Western monasticism, had asked what the monastic vows meant, and what they obliged you to do with your life. He asked Merton whether taking vows and making a commitment was just about making an agreement to stay in the monastery, or whether there was a commitment to ‘a life of progress up certain mystical stages.’ In other words, deepening the process of ‘becoming’ in this specifically spiritual way. Merton describes his response as ‘I sort of hemmed and hawed a bit’.

Merton reflects later on what the purpose of making a commitment is, and I think here we can include the purpose of any sort of spiritual/religious commitment, he writes that surely, we make a commitment to some sort of ‘total inner transformation’. In other words it’s not just about joining something at a superficial level.

Then, secondly, Merton relates another conversation he has had with the lama Chogyam Trungpa Rimpoche [Rimpoche means in the Tibetan tradition a reincarnation of a previous lama]. Trungpa, like other abbots, had had to escape Tibet to save his life, and keep the Tibetan Buddhism tradition going.

‘When he was faced with the decision of leaving his country, he did not quite know what to do. He was absent from his monastery on a visitation to some other monastery, and he was caught out in the mountains somewhere and was living in a peasant’s house, wondering what to do next. He sent a message to a nearby abbot friend of his, saying: “What do we do?” The abbot sent back a strange message, which I think is very significant: “From now on, Brother, everybody stands on his own feet.”’

Merton goes on to say how important this statement is – to the extent that ‘if you understand it in the terms of grace’ this is what both Buddhism and Christianity is about. We can no longer expect to rely on being supported by structures – structures that in fact could be destroyed at any point by a political power or political force.

In terms of the process of becoming this seems helpful – that while structures are good and should help us, and we do the best we can with them, ‘the time for relying on structures has disappeared.’ We are not who we are because we are part of this set up or some other – of course our participation has contributed, but ultimately the process of becoming means that now we stand on our own. As the lama asked, ‘if everything is taken away, what do you do next’.

As Merton continues the story of the lama’s escape from Tibet, he recounts how taking on the advice to stand on his own feet, Trungpa decided to go to India, initially accompanied by the cellarer from the monastery who had decided to bring along about 25 yaks and loads of provisions for the journey. The Chinese Communists quickly caught the yaks and cellarer, but the abbot had gone on ahead swimming a river and escaped.

Merton: ‘I think there is a lesson in there somewhere, too. We can ask ourselves if we are planning for the next 20 years to be travelling with a train of yaks. It probably is not going to work.’

The process of becoming – of inner transformation is what matters, ‘All other things serve that end.’